Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Is it Love? Is it Affection? or is it C43_H66_N12_O12_S2 ?!?!

There comes a time in every person's life when he/she is at the threshold of making a major life changing, universe churning, decision in life where invariably he/she pauses and ponders on timeless questions like 'what is the purpose of life?' etc. However these are not questions in any sense but a path which if undertaken will lead to either a self satisfying realization and contentment or life long confusion and misery!

For me the time has come to ponder on one such question, 'What is love?' and to avoid all that I mentioned in the previous paragraph, I jumped straight into science to seek the one true answer, given the researcher that I am. And the answer is ....... Oxytocin, a mammalian hormone, whose overdose causes an optimal level of attraction and trust between the male and the female, which needless to say encourages our species to procreate. Yeeeeehaa I got it :-)

But wait a minute, if I were to express this reality while marriage or confessing my love or bonding then what chances do I have to play my role in the grand scheme of things known as evolution?? (trust me the answer would be something like....... infinitesimally small); hhhmmmmm there is a fundamental flaw here.

So let me say what I feel, which by the way is not a mere bio-chemical reaction but a mysterious outcome of a complex state of existence known as consciousness. Love is a very powerful and a wonderful feeling, often denounced as the nemesis of logic. Love by itself it too powerful and wild and as a result useless. Just as any powerful element, it needs to be channeled in the right direction to yield spectacular results (I am not talking of kids here!!, naughty naughty) and the institution of marriage is this very channel. Sure the enigmatic world of marriage will change a one way road into a two way road, but hey that is exactly what marriage is, union of two individuals; so do not expect anything more or anything less.
With these deep philosophical words, I would say that I am ready - any takers?

Disclaimer: Repeated use of such heavy wordings can lead to nausea, excommunication, isolation, and misery. For best results use it sparingly on an unsuspecting stranger.

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At 10:43 PM, Blogger Shazia said...


Every single human response can be linked to those funny chemicals called 'hormones'. More i started reading about it, more i started believing that 'they' are responsible for the way i behave.
But trust me it takes away the joy from feelings like 'love'. For curiosity reading etc its fine, dont let these facts rule you.

At 5:58 AM, Blogger Vignesh Kumar said...

I can't accept the fact of narrowing down 'Love' to just hormones! Its meaning & sense are all far more wider than these isn't it?

At 10:53 PM, Anonymous PJ said...

Ahhh!! I am dying of pedantic poisoning...

At 2:38 PM, Blogger Layout Designing said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 2:43 PM, Blogger Vallabh Chilakapati said...

Admittedly, it's not easy to understand LOVE. AK, I am glad you did. I need some explanation (or example) for this sentence though.

"Love by itself is too powerful and wild and as a result useless."

I believe I too understood LOVE but in a different way. I am not sure if we can compare our analyses as they are based on completely different grounds. Anyway, here we go...

Put in the right words, LOVE is an unconditional liking of someone (or something) as a whole. The so called "love" between two humans is very rarely LOVE but mostly is only liking of some aspects of each other. Also, LOVE is many times (sometimes subconsciously) misconstrued as a mutual feeling. Though it's rarely mutual, it's not necessary.

Here's an explanation or example. If one LOVES someone, he/she never finds fault with the other (because he/she likes all aspects of the other). If he/she does find fault with other, that person is merely in LOVE with himself/herself and is expecting the other to behave in his/her own way. LOVE gives courage to believe and respect the individuality of the other.

LOVE is a very rare feeling but LIKING is not.

At 9:40 PM, Blogger AK said...

2 shazia:
Oh yeah, Shazi, too much analysis kills anything. And do not worry, when I 'make love' I will be totally involved in something else..... he he he.
Thanks for the advise though!

2 vignesh:
Oh yeah I agree with you, that is exactly what my last paragraph deals with!

2 pj:
aahhh..... some satisfaction at last.

2 comment deleted:
DAMN you SPAMMMMMM *@$@#*#*

2 vallabh:
What I meant by that line was....... sometimes people go blind because of love, their wheels of logic get clogged by feelings of love.
Regarding how you have defined love, I agree with the 'unconditional love' part but I stand to differ on the 'finding fault' part. True love should be strong enough to point out the shortcomings/mistakes of the other person. This is exactly what I meant by saying 'pure love is blind'. Pointing out shortcomings (in someone you love) does not mean that you are being selfish. On the contrary if you cannot or do not want to point out the shortcomings then you are being selfish for some reason.
Then again the above discussion depends on how one would define 'finding fault'. Accepting the shortcomings, of the person being loved, points to love but covering up the shortcomings or unable to see them points to something else and it is neither good for the person or for the general good.

At 4:15 AM, Blogger Vallabh Chilakapati said...

aaanh! Good example. If you were talking about depression and suicide cases, I agree.

I thought about defining 'finding fault' for a long time and somehow skipped it in my earlier comment. Here it is. In my comments, I assume that pointing out shortcomings or finding faults involve an argument (an exchange of 2 or more contradictory views/dialogues) between two persons.

Also, I believe that Selfishness is a virtue of mankind. In my comments, I assume both persons are selfish.

Here's my reply.
I didn't intend to say that one should not or cannot point out shortcomings of others. The concept of pointing out the shortcomings/ mistakes has its roots in one's "self". Basically, you are putting forward 'your' behavior (when you point out something in others) and expect them to behave in "your" way i.e., the way "you" think is correct based on probably numerous reasons, again, which "you" believe in because of "your" experience till date. So, when you point out shortcoming, you are in LOVE with yourself and want your partner to be like you. Each and every living being that I know of on this planet LOVES oneself and that's the most amazing thing I believe in. Now, does a person (who LOVES him/herself) argue with him/herself ever? He/she would improvise by accepting his/her own suggestions from past experiences but would never have two contradictory views within him/herself at a given point of time for an argument to arise within oneself. That's because everyone LOVES oneself at every point of time in one's life.

So, when there is LOVE, there will be a suggestion to the LOVED ones to avoid loss or suffering to someone or something that you think would occur due to the actions of your partner, but no pointing out of shortcomings or finding faults would occur. That's the only way one can respect other's individuality and thus LOVE. Any other situation leading to an argument can't exist along with LOVE.

It's extremely difficult to LOVE someone else than oneself and thus is very rare in this world. However, misbelieving that one is in LOVE with someone else is the most common thing I find in this world. If that makes people happy, I am happy for them. But, if they believe and thus practice what I said here, I am sure they will be a lot happier than they are now.

At 9:57 AM, Blogger Punarvasu said...

If you want to know more...check out "The Science of Romance" by NIgel Barber.


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